I am about to hit the 2 year anniversary of the day which changed everything for me and nearly the 1 year anniversary since posting a track review. I don't believe explanations are needed as the site left my personal story the day the music-rag.com domain was bought and I lost the total control of 'my' site that I had on the blogosphere (and we both know personal posts aren't popular unless you're my mom or older sister), but I will say that after my experience, I felt a need to return to the work my parents had been doing since I was 2: reiki, readings, healings for animals and humans alike, timeline therapy, soul clearings and retrieval; all that weird shit I had to hide in public school because people still think crystals are a joke, familiars are a myth, and ancient practices are a mockery (honestly, the first time friends heard my parents mention the phrase "electronic belt of protection" I realized I needed to shut down in order to survive the rest of school and college).
After an NDE that left me with pretty severe PTSD, some still healing fucked up Deadpool hands, and an ache where someone I loved used to be, I felt the need to return to the things that made me a freak for so long because I am what I am and, in doing so, that took me out of this for a while.
Though I did not post for you or respond to emails, music was there the entire time, especially as I drove from South Florida to the other side of the country in the middle of a blizzard, driving in snow for the first time ever, with 3 cats, a dog, 2 suitcases, and a family size bag of twizzlers packed in the back of the car I picked up 6 hours before leaving. Screaming along to Rationale's "Kindred" as I crossed the St Louis bridge at 3AM was incredibly cathartic. I definitely listened to The Strike's "Human Right" more times in a row than any healthy person would or should while trying to stay awake on the infuriatingly everlasting Kansas highway. And the karmic timing of Walk Off The Earth's "Home We'll Go" starting the moment I crossed the last state line I'd pass before landing on 'home' was the first sign in years that things were going to get better. I fucking love a good soundtrack to life.
The world seems pretty shitty right now and music helps so, as I logged in and read emails from so many beautiful people with thoughts and music to share, I realized I didn't want to just forgo payment and quietly end the website. Obviously there are so, so, SO many other choices of music sites for you to choose from and I'm not going to go full out like I did when I was naive enough to think I could actually make a go of this job-wise, but I will start giving you some links to good music for your soul and your head when it's all too heavy. And hopefully my writing skills will come back; it's been a while and you guys deserve better than "loved. I've listened 12x this hour" (Barns Courtney's "Hollow", no joke).
After a lot of fresh air and room to breathe in a safe place which is blissfully far from other people. After a lot of singing and dancing and crying and losing friends because you can't possibly explain all which has happened. After a lot of drinking and late nights and early mornings and sisterly bonding. After a lot of time and grief and love and joy and healing and music. After all, I think I can tentatively say that you can expect some okay reviews from me and this site again.
Some things you should/n't expect: Interviews won't get more intense. I'm never going to feel comfortable asking strangers about their personal lives and the basic set of questions I use are succinct yet open enough that if someone is interested they can talk and explain and share; and if someone never wanted to talk with me in the first place we can just end the call as quickly as possible. Going off that, I'm also not going to agree to every interview anymore because when people are nice and into it it's awesome and I love them for being kind and open and beautiful; when they're not, those calls that last less than 7 minutes feel like an eternity and make me want to go back in time and stop my smug 2012 college self from posting an 11PM blogger post that would one day lead to this hell. I'm not putting myself through that anymore because I just don't feel like it. I already died once. I'm not going to waste my time on something terrible because I feel indebted to someone I've not/will never meet. Album reviews aren't going to happen because, unless it's an artist you truly love, who has the time? Everyone I know has heard me go on and on and ON about Lizzo and FATT and Taylor Swift and The Head And The Heart's new albums and I'm not going to put you through the exaggerated gasps and instagram memes and lyric quoting. And I'm legit just going to fill Who To Know with artists I enjoy/full out love because why not? Who cares if Samm Henshaw or Wrabel are already known? Their music still gives you those good chills and carries this enigmatic energy that wraps itself around you until you're just a little bit better able to handle whatever's been eating at you: they're people whose music you deserve to have in your life.
As stated, I dithered about for a bit while deciding whether or not to renew the site and music was there the entire time. So. I paid for the site renewal, I'm here for a bit at least, forever at most and I've got a Spotify playlist of some good stuff below for you which I've been loving over the past year or two since reviews and Media page updates halted (warning: there is so much, even after removing tracks I love. Shuffle if you care for a year worth of tracks). If you're one of the ones who've been checking back daily or weekly just to hear the Song of the Day and see if anything was updated, I quite actually adore you. Lovely people deserve lovely things and I'm going to do my best to give you just that.
